no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
two words: eviction party
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
