We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
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