The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
