I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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