His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
