i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
