blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
God I need to hump something, right now.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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