why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
