The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
