Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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