Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
