Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
What a dumb baby whore.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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