help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
