weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
