My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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