Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
