I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
