she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
