i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
