I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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