normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
