Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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