Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
