Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I have fence marks all over my body
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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