Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
