I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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