Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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