You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
