We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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