i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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