At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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