And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
