I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
