I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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