you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
