Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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