I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
