So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
