i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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