And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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