Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
