Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
