Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
