I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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