coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
