She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The uberlube is also flammable
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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