So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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