Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
even my farts smell like vagina
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
