I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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