i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
